Forgiving one's enemies: betrayal, foolishness, or faithfulness to Christ?

Forgiveness is a Christian's duty. Photo: UOJ

On July 31, 2025, Veronika Osintseva lost both of her parents in a Russian missile strike on Kyiv. The blast hurled her, together with her bed, from the ninth floor of her apartment building. She survived only by a miracle.

Nearly a year after the tragedy, Veronika wrote on the social media platform Threads: "I forgive Russians for what they have done. I do not carry hatred in my heart. Why? Because my heart is filled with love, and only with love am I able to build and create my own future."

Her post sparked a heated debate in Ukrainian society. Major media outlets republished it, and public reaction quickly split into two opposing camps – complete approval or outright rejection.

"This is like a breath of fresh air. I also lost a loved one and my home, but I can't keep anger in my heart," one woman wrote.

"There is so much hatred all around us. When will people realize that violence only breeds more violence?" another added.

But there were many responses of a very different kind: "May God forgive the Russians – as soon as we arrange for them to meet the Almighty."

Veronika was insulted, branded a traitor, and told she needed psychiatric treatment. One commenter even declared her mentally ill: "Her mental state is clearly unstable. She obviously has PTSD after losing her family and experiencing such trauma. In this condition she needs proper medical treatment and a long recovery."

The reaction is revealing.

A woman who lost her parents and narrowly escaped death says she refuses to live with hatred. In response, people explain that she must be psychologically ill.

She is called abnormal precisely because she is living according to Christ's commandment and remembering His words: "For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses." (Matt. 6:14–15)

Veronika is not alone.

On March 2, 2024, a Russian drone destroyed an apartment building in Odesa where Baptist believer Serhii Haidarzhy lived with his family. His wife Anna and their four-month-old son Tymofii were killed. Serhii himself survived together with his older daughter, who had been sleeping in the children's room – the only room left standing after the collapse.

Just days after the tragedy, he said: "You know, I have no resentment toward God whatsoever. I understand everything. I received a clear answer as to why the Lord did not take all of us that night. <...> I realized that she was ready, and the Lord took her. But I was not ready."

He did not even mention his enemies. Yet neither did he speak with bitterness. It is precisely this inner disposition that makes forgiveness possible.

There is another example, this time outside Ukraine.

Erika Kirk, the widow of American public figure and Christian activist Charlie Kirk, spoke of her husband's killer during the funeral service: "That young man. I forgive him. I forgive him because it was what Christ did and is what Charlie would do. The answer to hate is not hate. The answer we know from the Gospel is love and always love. Love for our enemies and love for those who persecute us."

By the standards of the secular world, all of these people acted foolishly and irrationally. More than that – according to this way of thinking – they betrayed the memory of their loved ones.

The unspoken social standard demands revenge and hatred, wishing one's enemies death and suffering.

Yet these people have chosen to go against the current.

While Serhii Haidarzhy and Erika Kirk openly speak about their Christian motivation, Veronika Osintseva never once mentions in her post that she is a believer.

Even so, one commenter asked beneath her post: "By any chance, do you attend the Moscow Patriarchate?"

Someone immediately replied: "Absolutely. This crap about forgiving murderers couldn't possibly have entered someone's head on its own."

Another added: "One hundred percent – straight out of their manuals."

There is really nothing to argue about here.

The Ukrainian Orthodox Church (this is what the commenters mean when they refer to the "Moscow Patriarchate") does indeed regularly call on Christians to forgive their enemies. This has been repeatedly emphasized by the Primate of the UOC, His Beatitude Metropolitan Onuphry.

For example, on May 27, 2026, he said: "We walk God's path and harbor no evil toward anyone – not even toward our enemies. According to the commandment of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, the Founder and Head of our Church, we love everyone, even our enemies. Loving one's enemies does not mean approving of their deeds, as some imagine. Love for one's enemies is a powerful call for them to repent."

But are calls to forgive and love one's enemies really some kind of innovation unique to the UOC?

Of course not.

It was Christ Himself who gave this command to His disciples – and who Himself forgave those who crucified Him: "Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do." (Luke 23:34)

Why, then, has so much of Ukrainian society come to believe that such appeals belong exclusively to the supposedly "Moscow-linked" UOC? The answer is simple. Because the public voices of other church bodies today are increasingly saying the exact opposite.

Who preaches hatred

In August 2022, OCU "Metropolitan" Mykhailo Zinkevych declared: "We love those who love us. As for everyone else, we'll try to love them if they manage to repent before we shoot them. Then perhaps we'll even have time to forgive them."

Now recall Christ's words: "Ye have heard that it hath been said, Thou shalt love thy neighbour, and hate thine enemy. But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you; That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven... For if ye love them which love you, what reward have ye? do not even the publicans the same?... Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect." (Matt. 5:43–48)

Christ speaks plainly: if we love only those who love us, we deserve no reward. And if our goal is to become like God – which is the very purpose of earthly life – then loving our enemies is indispensable, without qualifications or exceptions. Nowhere does the Savior say that, in time of war, enemies are exempt from this commandment and may simply be shot instead.

OCU "Metropolitan" Ioan Yaremenko went even further. In December 2025, he claimed that Christ's commandment to love one's enemies applies only to conflicts between Ukrainians: "The commandment 'love your enemies' refers specifically to hostility among your own people – Ukrainians with whom you've quarreled."

According to him, the commandment does not apply to armed Russians: "If someone feels pangs of conscience after killing an enemy, our task is to reassure that person and explain that it is not a sin. On the contrary – it is a sacred duty."

There is another example – one showing how a pastor who attempted to preach Christ's words was publicly rebuked by his own church leadership.

In August 2023, during a service in Uzhhorod, Fr. Roman Kurakh of the Mukachevo Greek Catholic Eparchy prayed: "May these two peoples [the Ukrainian and the Russian peoples – Ed.] no longer clash, torment, destroy, or kill one another. Instead, may these two beautiful peoples build the Kingdom of Heaven already here on earth, and one day enter Heaven together, embrace one another, and glorify the Lord."

An activist attending the service asked the priest whether he was blessing the enemy.

His answer was simple: "I do bless them. Jesus said so – not I."

Fr. Roman also reminded those present that his own brother was serving in Ukraine's airborne forces.

After the scandal, the leadership of the Greek Catholic eparchy suspended Fr. Roman Kurakh from serving at the cathedral and announced that he would face disciplinary measures under church canons. His words were dismissed as a private opinion spoken in an emotional moment.

Perhaps describing them as "two beautiful peoples" was not the happiest choice of words.

But in essence, the priest was punished for praying that the killing would end and that reconciliation might one day become possible.

Thus, a public narrative gradually takes shape: enemies are not to be loved – they are only to be killed.

That narrative fully reflects the mood of the state and much of society – and stands in direct contradiction to the words of Christ.

Seen in that light, there is nothing surprising about the comments beneath Veronika Osintseva's post.

People who have never read the Gospel and whose understanding of Christianity comes from statements made by such "pastors" sincerely believe that Christ's followers are supposed to hate and kill their enemies. Anyone who says otherwise is branded a traitor and a collaborator.

Forgiveness is not capitulation

At this point, one crucial clarification must be made. Otherwise, the discussion immediately runs into an obvious objection:

Does this mean we should not defend ourselves? Does it mean we should stand by and watch as our children are murdered?

Of course not.

Forgiveness and self-defense belong to two entirely different realms.

Metropolitan Onuphry expressed this with complete clarity: loving one's enemies does not mean approving of what they do. A soldier defending his homeland can faithfully fulfill his duty without harboring hatred in his heart. More than that – this is precisely how a Christian ought to act.

Rejecting hatred does not eliminate resistance to evil or the just punishment of criminals. It concerns not our actions, but the condition of our hearts.

The distinction is simple: it is one thing to stop an enemy, and quite another to nourish hatred and malice toward him.

One might shrug and say that everyone has the right to be mistaken.

But in wartime, when anyone can be killed without warning by a missile or a Shahed drone, such mistakes come at an unbearably high price.

Christ forbids hatred not for the sake of the prohibition itself. He explains why.

To enter the Kingdom of Heaven, one must be capable of living there.

Hatred is like the diver's stone used by pearl hunters.

Pearl divers in Southeast Asia carry a heavy stone to help them descend quickly to the seabed, where they gather oysters. Underwater, the stone is indispensable.

But when it is time to return to the surface and breathe, they leave the stone behind.

Hatred toward an enemy may seem useful in battle.

But if we are to become "the children of your Father which is in heaven," if we hope to breathe the air of the Heavenly Jerusalem, we must let hatred go. Otherwise it becomes the very weight that drags us to the bottom.

And the only way to cast off that burden is to forgive everyone toward whom we harbor hatred.

His Beatitude Metropolitan Onuphry expressed it with remarkable clarity: "If there is no forgiveness, we will simply destroy ourselves with mutual malice. Forgiveness destroys sins, but anger and cruelty multiply sins that ruin a person."

Conclusion: What kind of future will we build?

Let us return to Veronika Osintseva's post.

She wrote: "My heart is filled with love, and only through love am I able to build and shape my own future."

Those words contain the answer.

A person consumed by hatred cannot build anything – only destroy.

A society that makes hatred its foundation will build nothing lasting upon it. The war will one day come to an end, but the habit of hating will continue destroying everything around it.

We do not know whether this young woman believes in Christ.

Yet Tertullian once wrote that "the soul is naturally Christian" – meaning that the human conscience is instinctively drawn toward truth and goodness, even before a person comes to know the Christian faith.

Perhaps that is exactly what happened here.

Veronika chose the right path with her heart.

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